Keeping something for yourself

Paula, Fr. Patrick's wife, lead the Orthodoxy class I attend last Saturday. She said something that struck me. She mentioned that we should keep part of our spiritual life private, that we should not leave it open for all. I don't think I had thought about that before. Her analogy, which she borrowed, was that of a rich man who doesn't carry all of his riches with him but rather a portion so that if he is robbed everything is not taken from him. I don't know how far that analogy will stretch, but I think it is a good one.

As I struggle to work out my spiritual path, and try to describe what I feel and believe, it does not compare to my spiritual experience. I don't believe I can do justice to personal moments of spiritual clarity and simpleness and I fear trying to do so will tarnish those experiences which iI desire to keep close to me, in their full ineffable glory. We all have individual experiences of spirituality, whether it be small or large, and those experiences are for us alone. I do believe there is a community experience of faith as well however. I think that is the purpose of the Church, and in other religions the Synagogue, and temples. We, as Christians, are told that when two or more of us gather together, Christ is with us. This is not a magic trick, but rather a divine revelation. In this formula, the Bible talks about the power of Community, the need for others as you strengthen your faith. Christ is made manifest through the interactions of those who believe in him.

So with these two ideas, the closeting of ones spirituality and the community expression of it, one has two modes of experiencing God. One mode is the hidden way, the secret expression of God where we approach him with silence and awe. Think of Moses on Sinai, as he removed his sandals in reverence and pleaded to see God, his eyes slowly lifting to catch a glimpse of the Almighty as He passed. This sight was for Moses alone. None of those waiting at the base of the mountain had this experience, and it would not have benefited them. But for Moses, he desired it and God allowed Moses' that glimpse into His Glory and as a consequence Moses face shone like the sun. The tribes of Israel could not even look at Moses' face as he came down from the mountain because it shone so brightly after his experience of God. One's personal revelation of God is incomprehensible to others. But the other mode allows us common ground. The public revelation of God is recounted in the Torah as well. Moses brought down the Law for the community. God gave the Law to the people of Israel, as a gift, for all of them. The Law was the revealed Word of God, telling them how to live that they might assemble themselves into a priestly nation, an example for all nations not of the might of the Israelites, but of the God who had chosen them. This revelation was for all who would accept it, while the Israelites didn't proselytize, one could choose to be bound to the Law and be counted with the Israelite nation. When God revealed Himself, He chose those to whom the revelation was made, but He made His Law open for all who would accept it. And accepting the Word of God would be the foundation of a personal and secret revelation of God.